The Auction
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[Leaf 1]
The Auction
Mr Editor
In looking over some old papers, re
-cently, I found the following, which I send you, in order
that, if you think it worthy of insertion, you may publish in
Pasquin
A provident matron lay calmly exploring
A promising plan, whilst her husband was snoring:
She sighed over schemes matrimonial, miscarried,
Which left her a houseful of daughters unmarried.
T'was plain she must follow a method much bolder,
Before the nice maidens began to look older.
Says she, "Things look well for my clever girl Mary;
"She's good as bespoke, if she'd only be wary.
"Could I only procure for the lively flirt Sally
"A man, whose posessions will fill a long Talley,
"The young ones could court: but until she's disposed of,
"Her quieter sisters can never be shoved off.
"Now, Sally's attractions draw young men together;
"Some rich and some poor, some not one or the other:
"For Sally's good graces each seems to be begging;
"But the poor are too fast, and the rich are too lagging.
"Tonight they'll be here, and then something decisive
"Must come of my plan, just as surely as I live."
So she wedged pretty hard the slertorious snorer;
"Now can't you cease snorting a while, Mr Rohrer,
"As hard to be solved as perpetual motion.
"Tonight I will sell to the best approved buyer
[Leaf 2]
"Our Sally at auction; and I'll satisfy her
"T'is best; for I'll carefully let fall the hammer,
"As soon as I get a rich bidder to claim her."
Says Rohrer, - "now, wife, you can just use your pleasure,
"If you'll only permit me to sleep out my measure."
When first the strange plot was revealed to Miss Sally,
She scornfully called it a piece of rank folly.
But a fortune, fine house, and a well varnished carriage,
Reconcile all the girls to a strategic marriage.
She only insisted she'd not be knocked over,
Until, by a nod, she accepted the lover:
And, further, that should be done in the twilight,
For blushes, if any, 'd be seen in bright skylight.
That evening, amid the crepusculous dizziness,
The mother proceeded at once to her business.
She told the young men, that she well knew each wanted
Her Sally, and she now to one should be granted:
But parents are all more or less mercenary,
And she hoped each could furnish a good inventory.
Neither Sally nor she wished for love in a cottage;
For love would die out, nourished only on pottage.
Her dutiful daughter, controuled in a measure
By her, did not ask for extravagant treasure,
But only for comfort: - And then, sotto voce,
Explained how, [illegible], the auction was to be.
Some smiled and some sighed, one or two looked aghast;
While Sally came forward in tremulous haste.
The mother proceeded: - "Come, make me some offers:
[Leaf 3]
"Who'll show, to get Sally, the state of his coffers?"
Thew Harold: - "no fortune have I, we should rather
"Depend for a time on my well-to-do father."
That's worse than the cottage, thinks provident mother;
"I am waiting for bids, who will make me another?"
Says Jones, - "I'm about a profession to enter;
"Our marriage, then, need not be thought a rash venture."
Thinks mother, "not even the pottage," - "but allows,
Who bids?" - then more readily spoke her Furlong:
"When mother, -- God help her, -- is called by her maker,
"Her house I shall have, and broad land by the acre;
"Miss Sally could then have her coach:" But the daugther,
Tho' mother looked at her, knew what she was after.
No sign would she make; so the bidding proceeded;
At last was obtained a proposal she heeded.
Mr Smith, the next bidder, was sere and was sallow,
And ugly as sin, but in wealth he could wallow.
He spoke, Sally nodded, the hammer descended;
At the signal the fortunate auction was ended.
Two visitors only joined not in the struggle;
One rich and one poor, - they despised such a juggle;
Each, Sally was conscious, than Smith more deserving;
But the rich one was doubtful, the poor persevering.
With the bird in the hand, Sally rode in her carriage,
And all were forgot in her prosperous marriage.